Contents Teachable Moments for Learning to Get Along How to Be an Eti-Kid Snack Time Campus Connections

Teachable Moments for Learning to Get Along

We know a teachable moment when we see one, don't we? Dividing up the pizza among eight kids is a perfect time to talk about fractions. Can you think of a better illustration of displacement than when all the kids get in the pool and make the water level rise?

But what about teaching appropriate behavior? When children misbehave, we adults often use that moment to talk to them about better choices they could have made or other ways they could have handled the situation. But when a careless bump has escalated into a shoving match and tempers are hot, is that the best time to teach problem-solving skills? Experts say probably not. The higher our level of emotion, the more difficult it is for us to think reasonably - and it's even more so for kids than adults.

When circumstances occur that cause a child to feel frustrated or angry, if the child isn't able to easily resolve the situation, his or her emotions will escalate. At that point, your main goal is to stop or prevent harm and help bring the level of emotion down. The most appropriate and effective interaction is to go to the child or children involved, acknowledge that they are upset, restate the behavior boundaries, and give a clear direction that will help them calm down: "I know you're angry, Stephen, but the rule is ‘no hitting.’ You need to find a quiet place to calm down and get control of yourself again. Let me know when you're calm again and we'll talk."

DO talk about social problem-solving, respect, or group rules for times when kids are calm, after emotions have returned to normal. At that point, they are physically and emotionally much more able to put their thoughts into words and to think logically about the problem and possible solutions. And consider using the incident to engage the whole group in a discussion. Being careful to respect the kids involved, ask the whole group to brainstorm ideas for preventing or for solving a similar problem in the future.

Now that's a teachable moment

Kathy L. Reschke, Ph. D.
State Specialist, Early Childhood/Child Care
Ohio State University Extension

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How to Be an Eti-Kid

Activities that help children understand social rules are very important. This activity will help Cloverbuds develop an appreciation for the rules and those who follow them. Through the use and application of social rules or proper etiquette, children improve their self-esteem and learn to respect themselves and others.

This activity is part of a curriculum titled "How to Be an Eti-Kid" by Susan Trutner, 4-H Extension Agent with Ohio State University Extension, Clinton County. For more information about the curriculum, you can contact Susan at (937) 382-0901.

Source: Susan Trutner, 4-H Extension Agent, OSU Extension, Clinton County.

"Who Wants To Be an Eti-Kid" can be played like the TV show, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" Ask for participants to play the contestants. Depending on reading level, a Cloverbud may play the emcee and read the questions. The letters to the correct answers are underlined and in bold print.

Application: Discuss questions that might puzzle your Cloverbuds. Have any of your Cloverbuds experienced situations like those in the statements below? Encourage them to share.

1. Aunt Jana gives you a sweater for your birthday. You don't like it and would have preferred to get a toy. You tell her...
   1. Thank you for the sweater, Aunt Jana.
   2. I don't like the sweater, you may have it back.
   3. I would rather have a toy.
   4. Don't tell her anything since you don't like it.

2. You are visiting a friend and you stay for dinner. You don't like cooked carrots but your friend's mother puts some on your plate. What do you do?
   1. Play with the carrots by moving them around your plate.
   2. Tell everyone you hate carrots.
   3. Hide the carrots in your napkin.
   4. Taste the carrots and leave what you don't eat on your plate.

3. A new boy moves to town and is in your classroom. One day he wears what you think is an ugly shirt. What do you do?
   1. Tell the boy his shirt is dorky.
   2. Tell your friends his shirt is dorky.
   3. Keep your thoughts to yourself and don't say anything.
   4. Send the boy a note and tell him his shirt is dorky.

4. Another student tells you your jeans are nice. What do you say?
   1. Say, "Thank you."
   2. Say, "I know."
   3. Say, "I like them better than yours."
   4. Say, "Mind your own business."

5. You sit down for lunch and there's a napkin by your fork. What do you do with it?
   1. Tuck it in your shirt.
   2. Unfold it and put it in your lap.
   3. Leave it on the table.
   4. Use it to blow your nose.

6. During breakfast you put jelly on your bread. There is still some jelly on your knife. What do you do with it?
   1. Put the knife in your mouth to clean it.
   2. Wipe the extra jelly on your napkin.
   3. Scrape the extra jelly into the jelly jar.
   4. Put the knife on your plate, leaving the jelly on it.

7. You go home and your parents have one of their grown up friends with them. What do you do?
   1. Say, "Hi. How are you."
   2. Run to your bedroom as fast as you can.
   3. Go outside and play.
   4. Sit down with them and pretend the friend isn't there.

8. You are walking to the school door and you see someone carrying a large box trying to open the door. What do you do.
   1. Ask the person to hurry and open the door.
   2. Ignore the person.
   3. Hurry up and open the door for the person.
   4. Let the person open the door for you.

9. What should you do when someone gives you a present?
   1. You don't have to do anything.
   2. Write the person a thank you note.
   3. Tell the person you really like the present even if you don't.
   4. If you don't like the present, don't do anything.

10. What should you say when you answer the telephone?
    1. "What do you want?"
    2. "Who is this?"
    3. "Hello, this is (say your name)."
    4. "My parents aren't home, call later."

11. You are eating dinner and would like some more potatoes. The potatoes are on the other side of the table. What do you say or do?
    1. "Please pass the potatoes."
    2. Walk around the table to where they are and take them to your seat.
    3. Reach across the table to where the potatoes are and help yourself.
    4. Say, "I want more potatoes."

12. You are visiting a friend and the two of you spill lemonade on the carpet. What do you do?
    1. Tell the parents immediately and ask what you can do to clean the mess.
    2. Move to another part of the house so you won't get caught.
    3. Wait until it's time for you to leave before you admit you spilled the lemonade.
    4. Call your friend's parents when you get home and tell them about the lemonade spill.

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Snack Time

Chocolate Rods

1 package chocolate for candy making
1 package pretzel rods
coconut (optional)
finely chopped nuts (optional)
wax paper

Melt chocolate by following the directions on the package. Dip one end of the pretzel rod into the melted chocolate. Lay on wax paper. Sprinkle with coconut or finely chopped nuts if desired. Allow chocolate to harden. Enjoy!

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Campus Connections

Hello Cloverbud Volunteers!!!

Silence is golden - a famous quote we often say to children to get them to be quiet or to listen. Silence is golden, but not just for children - it is also a great practice for adults and yes, Cloverbud Leaders and Volunteers. I can speak from experience, and would probably be labeled a "talker" instead of a "listener" by others and certainly my wife. It is fine to talk and share, but we learn so much more by listening in all types of roles that we assume in our daily lives, whether as a teacher, parent, spouse, friend, grandparent, or Cloverbud Leader.

By listening to children as a Cloverbud Leader you will help them:

• become more confident about themselves - children will begin to realize that what they have to say or communicate really matters to an adult;
• develop listening skills - children learn much by modeling after others, when they observe you practice the skill of listening, they will put that into their memory banks as a pro-social, positive behavior;
• practice decision-making - as children share with you their thoughts about making a decision or what to do about something they will work things out to make the best decision or choice.

Have FUN and remember that silence is not only golden for children, but also adults.

Thanks for all that you do as Cloverbud Leaders and Advisors!!!

Scott D. Scheer
State Extension Specialist,
4-H Youth Development, Preadolescent Education
The Ohio State University

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Keith L. Smith, Associate Vice President for Ad. Admin. and Director, OSU Extension TDD No. 800-589-8292 (Ohio only) or 614-292-1868