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Teaching Children to Resolve Conflict How do we teach children to cooperate? We teach them problem-solving skills and help them learn that they can come-up with lots of alternatives for getting what they want in acceptable ways. Research tells us that a child's ability to get what he or she wants in an acceptable manner is directly related to the number of solutions or alternatives they can think up. Here are a few general steps you can use to help develop good problem-solving skills. • Get the facts and the feelings . Ask questions like, "What happened?" calmly and non-judgmentally to get the facts. The children will usually calm down and answer them. Once you have the facts, spend time focusing on feelings. Children see things primarily from their own perspective and need help becoming aware of how their behavior affects other people, but in order to negotiate solutions that are fair to everyone, children need to know how others feel. • Help children see the goal. Help the children understand that the problem is really about someone's unmet goal. Help them see what all parties want/need in order for them to get the idea that the wants/needs of everyone are important. • Generate alternatives. When children suggest alternatives, repeat their ideas then ask them what else might be done. To help children feel confident that their own ideas are good enough, avoid suggesting ideas yourself. If a child needs new ideas, ask them to imagine how someone else they know might handle the situation. • Evaluate consequences. After the children have generated all the ideas they can, evaluate the consequences. Ask them, "What might happen if you...?" or "How might Matt feel if you...?" Avoid judging their ideas and instead encourage the children to evaluate ideas themselves. • Ask for a decision. Restate the problem, summarize their ideas and alternatives, and then let the children decide which they will try.
Adapted from OSU Extension Fact Sheet HYG-5319-98 written by Joyce Fittro, FCS Extension Agent for OSU Extension in Delaware County.
Kirk Bloir, M.S. Extension Associate, Human Development & Family Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Columbus, Ohio Dealing With Special Needs Children The purpose of 4-H is to provide learning experiences and opportunities for boys and girls that will help them grow and develop to the fullest of their potential. These learning experiences need to be age appropriate and designed to allow members to have positive outcomes. This is especially true when working with Cloverbuds, and even more important when working with special needs children.
In the broadest sense, a special needs child is anyone who requires a modification in program or program delivery to be able to successfully participate. This may be as simple as breaking a craft activity down to very minute steps. It may also be as involved as completely revamping a recreation activity so that a wheel chair bound child may participate equally with the other members.
The key to working with special needs members is to be aware of what modifications may be needed and to be willing to adjust your plans. It is easy to identify some children who have special needs, especially if they have been around your 4-H program with older siblings. Other times, it is impossible to look at a child and realize that you must revise your teaching methods to allow them to fully participate.
Some parents are willing to share the uniqueness of their children in relation to 4-H participation. Other parents are not so open. It is a good idea to require parents to attend the first 4-H meeting with their child. Have two Cloverbud advisors available. Start your Cloverbud activity session with all parents and members. Then, one by one, take the parents to a place where what you discuss cannot be overheard. Have them provide you with basic information about their child (name, age, address, phone number, etc.). During discussion, ask them if there is anything additional you need to know about their child to help make their 4-H experience successful and positive.
The information you glean from your discussion with the parents must then be put to use. If you have a member with limited mobility, modify your activities so that member may participate on the same level as the other members. If you have a member who is developmentally delayed, you may need to have an assistant who works directly with that member. Try to avoid having the child's own parent as their helper. Cancel activities that would put a child with allergies in contact with an offensive allergen.
The key to working with special needs children in a Cloverbud program is the willingness to be flexible and try new methods of delivery. All children share the same basic needs. We must do our best to meet those needs as we help our members become capable, competent, caring and contributing citizens.
Bonnie Malone Extension Educator, 4-H Youth Development Ohio State University Extension, Huron County Materials: Eyeglasses, bag of common objects (spoon, pencil, paper clip, etc.); three underwater face masks or goggles - leave one as it is, cover one with wax paper and cover the third with black construction paper.
Show the children the eyeglasses. Ask if they know what they are for and if they know anyone that has them. Pass the glasses around and ask if they can think of other things that help our vision (binoculars, contact lenses, a magnifying glass, etc.). Explain that some people cannot see well enough to read or even see faces. People who can't see are blind. Introduce the goggles to the group and invite the children to try to identify objects by looking through each pair of goggles. When the children discover they have no vision with the black goggles, ask them if they can identify the objects they feel. Explain that this is how people who are blind are able to do many things. Encourage each child to experience the varying degrees of blindness and then discuss these questions:
Application: Encourage the children to be aware of people with blindness in their community. What kinds of things do they have to help them? Do they have white canes or a guide dog? For more information on this topic or to learn how to conduct an activity on Braille, see the “Experiencing Disabilities” lesson in the Ohio 4-H Cloverbud Curriculum.
Sources: “Experiencing Disabilities”, Ohio 4-H Cloverbud Curriculum Ohio State University Extension Taking care of pets involves the entire family. When parents or guardians act as responsible pet owners, younger family members learn the importance of properly caring for pets. It is important that Cloverbuds feel comfortable and confident around pets before they can learn to help their families care for them. As a Cloverbud volunteer, you can stimulate your 4-H members' appreciation for different kinds of pets and interest in caring for them.
All pets require food and water, shelter, exercise, and love. Ask your Cloverbuds what they think pets need to be healthy and happy. To stimulate their thinking, ask them what they need to be healthy and happy. Children and pets need many of the same things, such as food, water, shelter, play (including toys), and lots of love. Make sure that the following items are mentioned: (1) enough of and the right kind of food, (2) clean water either for drinking or swimming (fish and turtles), (3) exercise and/or play, (4) a safe place to live, and (5) a collar and identification tags for dogs and cats. Being a responsible pet owner means properly caring for your pets. It means providing veterinary care, brushing and bathing pets, socialization and play (exercise in the back yard is not enough), companionship, affection, and interaction, and humane treatment and handling.
During a Cloverbud meeting, have each child who has a family pet, tell the group what kinds of pets they have at home. Have them explain how they help feed, water, groom, and play with their pets. Ask them to share what makes their pets special to them, and what things they do to make sure their pets are healthy and happy. Encourage them to talk about how they help feed, water, brush, and play with their pets. Ask them if they have gone with a family member or friend to take their pets to the veterinarian. Tell them how a veterinarian helps their pets stay healthy by examining them and giving them vaccinations, just like human doctors help boys and girls stay healthy.
End the meeting by reinforcing what has to be in place for them to be responsible pet owners so they can take good care of their pets.
Lucinda B. Miller Extension Specialist, 4-H Youth Development Companion Animal & Small Animal Programs OSU Extension Center at Piketon, Ohio Being the ‘new kid on the block' is no fun! Let's keep in mind that attending a 4-H club meeting can be intimidating to our Cloverbuds, so it's important that they are welcomed into a friendly environment.
When a new Cloverbud joins your group, be sure to welcome them with a friendly smile and words of encouragement. Then, introduce them to the other members. Sometimes we adults forget to do this. If you can provide a conversation starter for the child seated next to the new member (such as if they are the same age, attend the same school, etc.) that may help them to start talking.
Here are some more ideas that help put Cloverbuds at ease!
Barbara Carder OSU Extension Educator 4-H
Youth Development
Hello 4-H Cloverbud Volunteers!!!
Did you know that creativity is a trait that comes naturally to children? We can tap into and promote creativity for children in Ohio's 4-H Cloverbud program. Creativity helps children express themselves and make sense of their world.
Honoring creativity with 4-H Cloverbud participants is a sure way to move forward the life skills that we target (getting along with others, self-confidence, physical skills, making decisions, and learning skills).
Well until next time, take care and have fun. I look forward to sharing more ideas with you soon. Thanks for all you do as 4-H Cloverbud Leaders and Advisors!!
Scott D. Scheer, Ph.D. State Extension Specialist, Preadolescent Education 4-H Youth Development, The Ohio State University Tortilla Sandwich
1 flour tortilla, warmed 1/4 c. (2 oz) refried beans, heated 2 Tbsp. grated cheddar cheese 2 Tbsp. shredded lettuce 2 Tbsp. chopped tomato 1 Tbsp. taco sauce (optional) 1 Tbsp. sour cream (optional)
Spread refried beans evenly over tortilla. Top with remaining ingredients. Fold tortilla in half and then roll up sideways. Makes 1 serving. Joyce A. Shriner, CFLE Extension Educator, FCS County Extension Director OSU Extension, Hocking County
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